But I find that relationships encompase a large majority of people’s lives.  We spend an extreme amount of our time in both pursuing and maintaing romantic relationships. . . .

Psychology Today had an interesting article posted about all the ‘small’ things that couples do to tear apart their relationships.  I found it interesting and decided to write aboout it.

I will start with the following quote from the article itself:

“The ability to eliminate relationship irritants lies within each of us. They may sabotage good relationships or not. It all depends on how you interpret the problem.”

Each of us should be taking personal responsibility, first and foremost, thinking diligently at all times.  Relationships are more than a full-time job and even more important because in most cases a shaken marriage/relationship is as good as a shaken foundation for a home.  It is weak. It is unpredictible. It is volatile.

Here are the “small things:”

1: “It’s Deliberate”

This is explained as, “If you loved me you would stop driving me crazy with . . .”  One party assumes that the other party is purposefully annoying them, when in fact they are probably just acting normally and in a relaxed state.

2:  “Messiness”

One partner is ALWAYS messier than the other. Get over it and be considerate for each other when you can. LoL!

3: “Feeling Unloved”

This was interesting.  It talks a bit about how often when one party starts to YELL they are seeking attention, affection, or some form of re-affirmation.  So this is trying to see past the hurtful things your significant other may be saying, and looking for what they need from you.  This may involved reassuring them that they could rant, rave and explode….but you will always be there.

4: “Feeling Unappreciated”

Focus less on what you are GETTING and more on what you are GIVING.  This means that if significant others watch out for the best interests of each other they will both end up feeling appreciated and loved essentially.

5: “Feeling Controlled”

No human likes to feel as if they are being controlled, but sometimes we need to take a step back and think that perhaps our significant other is really just trying to help and/or has your best interest in mind. :p

6: “Not feeling intimate”

This part was so good I’ll copy and paste it:

A couple, both young, successful lawyers, wanted a baby. But they had begun fighting in a way that made them feel hopeless about the relationship. Once home from work, she wanted to discuss their money problems; all he wanted was quiet. She’d follow him from room to room as he tried to escape conversation, ultimately planting herself in his path. Then he’d push her. By the time they sought therapy, they’d concluded they couldn’t bring a child into such a violent environment.

Madanes said there was something the husband could do, but it was difficult and she wasn’t sure he could do it. “I can do it,” the husband insisted.

“In the future, whenever she begins to go after you and wants to discuss money—whether at home, at a party, on the street—put your hand under her blouse or her skirt and fondle her.”

“You’re not going to do that!” said the woman. “Oh yes I am!” said the man.

Not only did the tactic successfully interrupt the pattern of angry confrontation, it transformed it into a playful and warm dynamic. Within a month, she was pregnant.

Like all relationship irritants, lack of intimacy is a two-way street. If you’re meeting all your partner’s needs and filling him or her up with love daily, you’ll both feel warm and close. “I hear so many men say, ‘My wife suddenly left me, and I can’t understand why, I gave her everything,’” says Madanes. “I say, ‘You gave her everything except what she needed!’”   -Psychology Today

This is SUCH a true statement…. We all need to LISTEN carefully!

7: “Flirting”

Insecurities and other things often breeds flirting with others.  The general rule: DON’T DO IT!!!

8: “Personality Conflicts:

This is just something you have to work on and be understanding about.

9: “Lack of Fairness”

Couples should come to an agreement on how the household should be run basically.  It says that couples that try to spilt responsibilities down the middle tend to be the most un-happy, but everyone has to figure out what works for them.

10: “Critisicims”

Don’t get stuck in a rut of nagging each other basically. You should be building each other up and not breaking each other down.

Go check out the article yourself here.

Until my next inspiration,

<3 The Chaotic Questioner <3

]]> http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/relationships-dont-ever-leave-me-but-please-leave-me-alone/feed/ 0 scientificallychaotic http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/06/you-fail-of-the-week-1/ http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/06/you-fail-of-the-week-1/#comments Wed, 06 May 2009 06:23:04 +0000 scientificallychaotic http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/?p=38 ]]> So, because of the nature of my job, I spend a lot of fucking time online being really bored.  I have found many ways to amuse myself, from learning how to do html and operate Macromedia Fireworks to reading blogs and looking at random profiles online.

I think that mostly it just amazes me at what some people say and/or post online.   Here is the first unlucky winner . . . well in this case it was a pair, which is what made it so bad.   Perhaps, had I only saw one of them at a time, it would not have been as tragic.  These 2 were on a online dating website. LoL.

Blog world please meet the “You fail @ life” winners of the week.

Screen Name: hotnight1

AGES: 28/26

From: Fayetville, NC

And I quote from their profile:

“we are a couple looking to meet people into the same things we are . we are  reasonably good looking and d/d free and looking for the same  for now we are  only looking to play online and to meet friends in our area”

So thank GOD these people only want to play online and meet friends. HAHA.  I would be super frightened if they were looking for more than that. Just wow.

FAIL!!!

Till Next time,

<3 The Chaotic Questioner <3

“Chiarelli assigned the mission to his Georgia Bulldog, Mike Steele, and Steele‘s Pit bull pups. Steele figuratively starved and beat his brood revving them for a fight to the death. Steele prepared his men to die.

Then something bad happened.

The dogs of war came off their birds shootin’ at everything that moved. Sergeants like Ray Girouard recognized almost immediately something was wrong and worked furiously to restore sanity and restraint to a battle field where confusion blinded the confused.

“Insurgents” hiding behind women and children. Steele and Chiarelli were had. The mission had been compromised and our guys got sucked into a politically explosive trap.”

This Staff Sergeant Ray Girourad and he is just ONE of many cases in which the military has thrown the book at soldiers for simply following their chain of command and his story goes a little like this. . .

After you read from the Jag Hunter, it is obvious that Operation Iron Triangle went terribly Wrong and that the military scrambled to cover it up like they do so many other things.

Michael Steele, a highly decorated Army Colonel, is mostly well known for two things now: Operation Gother Serpent (which resulted in the famous movie and book Black Hawk Down and for betraying his men after Operation Iron Triangle. Col. Steele was known as the “Georgia Bulldawg,” and he was known for getting his Army Ranger‘s pumped up and ready for action.  Before Operation Iron Triangle he told his soldiers,

“Guys, youare going to get shot coming off the helicopter. If you don’t get
shot, you should be surprised.”

So the four United States Army Rangers that were hung out to dry by this pompous Infantry Officer asshole pretty much told his Infantrymen that their order upon exiting the helicopter were:

1. Get Shot

2. If not shot, be surprised

3.  See #1.

Granted these are orders that any military foot soldier or military grunt has heard before. . .

Now, tell me my fellow blogger and Americans, would you get off the chopper shooting?  Or would you jump off that bitch popping off rounds in every direction?  I bet a majority of you would have your eyes closed.  Sure most of these guys had probably been in combat situations, but I have a feeling from the tone of everything that I have read so far that this was “supposedly” going to be one of the worse Iraqi strongholds they had ever come up against.  My conclusion: They were probably scared and reacting as a solider is taught to. . . By following orders. These Army Rangers jumped off the helicopter shooting in hopes that they could put off getting shot for just a few minutes, and slowly reality sunk it that the “insurgents” had bailed already. These courageous men that were out in the middle of a war zone risking their lives for the freedom of this Col. Mike Steele to sit in his air condition conduit on some cushy base in Baghdad, all so that he could hang them out to dry during court martial.

Now these poor young men not only struggle with the horrific nightmares of what they did haunting them night and day through the various symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, but they also sit in jail – The ulitmate betrayal of the country that they all so proudly and honorably went to war for.

I personally think that this is fucked up and we need to fix our system.

Until next time,

<3 – The Chaotic Questioner – <3

———————————————————

For even more information on this case and many other check out Euphoric Reality.

According to CNN news:

“On April 25, 2006, at 1:13 a.m., roadside bombs blasted a convoy in western Baghdad escorted by members of the 101st Airborne C/1-33 Cavalry, wounding Sgt. Erik Roberts, Spc. AJ Jefferson and Sgt. Luke Murphy – changing their lives forever.”

So Sgt. Roberts received injuries in Iraq that lead to an infection that could have caused this young man to loose his leg, but the Department of Veterans Affairs decided that Erik Roberts should have instead waited, for only God knows how long, to have had the surgery on his leg that saved him from having the limb be amputated. Now, let that sink in.  This 27 year old war veteran, newly retired out of the Army for injuries received in IRAQ, while fighting a war that the United States Army sent him to, had to make the decision of whether or not the high chances of him loosing his leg was more important, or not, than the VA‘s need for him to follow the correct bureaucratic bullshit process.

I can not believe that war veterans are being treated like this.  If you are wounded in combat serving OUR country, you should receive the proper care of your health for the rest of your life, no questions asked.

If you are interested and want to read more about this incredibly unbelievable story you can find it and the video clip of talking about the entire event on Sgt. Erik Roberts CNN.

What I found hilarious about this situation is that even though the Veterans Affairs Hospital had fought Sgt. Roberts vehemently, as soon as he went public with CNN the VA decided to pay for everything Roberts needed. Funny, huh? All the Wounded Warrior‘s need to step out and speak up!

——————————————————————————————————————————-

On a side note that goes along with this post:

I currently believe that the United States Government based Veterans Affairs is running some sort of scandal and I plan on documenting every case that I find of a war veteran being fucked over by the government that they served.  I will be continually adding things that I find unbelievable about government treatment of war veterans.  If you are someone that has been fucked over by the VA Hospital or United States Military or if you know someone in a horrible situation, please feel free to Email Me your story along with any pictures that you would like to see posted.  I am dedicated to attempting to spread the word as much as possible!  I am especially interested in bringing out all of the stories from the Iraq War and Afghanistan War.

Book Day

2009

I <3 Free Stuff!!!

And I know that most of you probably love free stuff as much as I do! LoL.  Anyway, mostly free stuff is boring shit, but this is actually pretty exciting!  Apparently. . . There is an annual tradition of handing out Free Comic Books on the First Saturday of May, in order to encourage people to buy comics! Even Hugh Jackman is talking about Free Comic Book Day 2009,  as well as a preview of his new movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine! Check it out (I embedded the youtube.com video for your viewing pleasure!).

You should totally go get your Free Comic Book from your local comic dealer, because I think it’s a really neat gimmick if nothing else!!

Anyway, Just wanted to share this with you all!

Till next time,

<3 – The Chaotic Questioner – <3

]]> http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/free-comic-book-day-2009/feed/ 0 scientificallychaotic freecomicday Free Comic Book Day http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/new-iava-ad/ http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/new-iava-ad/#comments Fri, 01 May 2009 07:53:54 +0000 scientificallychaotic http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/?p=12 ]]> Hello to all my blogger friends! <3

I was blog surfing, my newest hobby, and I found this cool organization that provides tons of information for not only Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans, but also to their spouses! I want to thank this blog for guiding me to this video!

I really love this video that the IAVA created.  It is elegantly simple.  Please help them meet their goal of 10,000 views by Mother’s Day, May 10! The video is on youtube.com, but I have it right here for you!  (Still go click THIS LINK to help support the IAVA and their amazing cause!)

SUPPORT the new IAVA AD!

Till next time!

<3 – The Chaotic Questioner – <3

Hello fellow blogg-a-teers! <3 

I spend a lot of time online because of my job, so sometime I get bored.  Well we all know that boredom and only lead to odd things.  I randomly came across this web article about a CONGRESSMAN that had felt the need to tweet his CLASSIFIED trip Iraq on the now popular social network twitter.com.  I can not believe that someone would do this AND be allowed to get away with it.

First off, why did this guy not use his brain?

Well, there could be many reasons, but that is not actually the important point I am going to get to.  I mean, seriously, it is basically text messaging that the whole WORLD can see.  I am guessing that even terrorist can probably read since they learned how to fly plans and work their way through security in order to follow through with their terrorist attack on 9/11.  And, unless everyone is in complete denial, 9/11 (911) is something of significance in the USA.  So, apparently, terrorist can be at least of mild intelligence.   This is why it does not make any sense to me when we forecast things such as top secret or classified trips or missions, troop surges and a number of other topics on not only American Television News, but also on various social networking sites / internet!

Secondly, why was it so important to tweet is his SECRET trip to Iraq?

There appears to be a trend of “twitter flitters” becoming “quitters.”  Apparently, everyone is signing on for all the rage of twitter, only to become bored.  Well, what else did you expect from glorified internet-base text messaging?  The American population is driving by constant stimulation. If you need an example flip on your television. . . No, go ahead.  Now watch a full segment of whatever TV show is on (the part between commercial’s that you actually want to see normally).  Now did you notice that the scenes of that one short segment changed pretty rapidly? Why is this? To keep people interested, because we (Americans) get bored extremely easy.  So why, exactly, has twitter become the new “in” thing to do?

Anyway, I really do wish that people, ALL PEOPLE, would just use their brain or at least their prior learning history to make better decisions before blabbing to everyone!

Till my next rant comes up!

<3 – The Chaotic Questioner – <3

]]> http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/twitter-a-security-threat/feed/ 2 scientificallychaotic twitterblogrant boredtweet http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/is-religion-terrorism/ http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/2009/05/01/is-religion-terrorism/#comments Fri, 01 May 2009 00:40:30 +0000 scientificallychaotic http://scientificallychaotic.wordpress.com/?p=3 ]]>

“God is a concept by which we measure our pain. “

John Lennon

Hello blog world! <3

I woke up this morning thinking that John Lennon would have the perfect quote for me this morning and, well, I was correct.  It inspired blogging and picture material.

Now, let us think about this concept, God.  What did Mr. Lennon mean when he spoke these words that God was a concept that we measure PAIN with.  I find this to be extremely interesting.  I have been on both sides of the religious battle lines, but ultimately I have found myself as more of a religious outsider than an insider.  I can say that I see that pain appears to be a big mechanism of religion as a whole.

Now, one definition of pain is “annoyance: something or someone that causes trouble; a source of unhappiness.”

I also want to quote the definition of suffering,

1. “The condition of one who suffers; the bearing of pain or distress.
2. An instance of pain or distress.”

So the definition of suffering includes the word pain, so we could assume that suffering could be considered the extended experience of pain.

If you have ever noticed, many (often most) religions say that pain and suffering are two of the things that can bring you closer to God.  This statement is contrary to the other prominent statement that most all religions carry, which is that if you come to ‘their’ pre-defined God(s)/Goddess(s) that you will be free of pain and suffering.  SO it sounds like to me that even the religious do not even have a clear understanding of their purpose.

Which is true for the religious?

Is it so endure through pain and suffering for their creator?

Is it to come to the creator for relief of pain and suffering?

I suppose this is why I like Mr. Lennon’s quote, “God is a concept by which we measure our suffering.”  People appear to inherently draw closer to their God in times of needs, for those that are already religious.  Even those that will claim over and over again that they are not religious and would never be religious will look for and begin to cling to this concept in a time of great and utter despair.

Now, for my next definition:

Terrorism:

“the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion”

Terror:

“1: a state of intense fear

2 a: one that inspires fear : scourge b: a frightening aspect <the terrors of invasion> c: a cause of anxiety : worry d: an appalling person or thing ; especially : brat

3: reign of terror

4: violent or destructive acts (as bombing) committed by groups in order to intimidate a population or government into granting their demand”

If terrorism is the systematic us of terror as a means of coercion, then could we not then say that religion is just a legal, organized and publicized form of terrorism?  I think it is fair to say that most people are intensely afraid of pain. So to re-state, people FEAR pain.   I can easily give several examples of MAJOR religions terrorism:

1. The Christian Crusades – Christian (Middle Ages)

2. The Assassins – Islam (c.1090)

3. Thuggee – Hindu (1900)

4. Jihad – Muslim

I just find it all very interesting when one takes a step back to really look at the concept of “God” and/or “religion.”  I do believe that religion can be a useful tool, like any other concept from city judicial systems to global systems.  My point is that perhaps we all should be more thoughtful before committing ourselves to a belief with an intensity that could easily incite major global conflict.  Perhaps we should carefully question our own beliefs and then look at the belief’s of others is a way that is more constructive.

Ultimately though, you, the reader, will have to make your own decision.

Till next time,

The Chaotic Questioner